Raising Roman

Totally welcoming myself back here as it’s been over a year since I’ve sat down to write. I’m so happy to have this space, as a keepsake, somewhere to store and share some of my most treasured memories and thoughts. I didn’t blog at all through this pregnancy, as the first half I battled hyperemesis (another story for another time!) but the Lord lifted it from me and I was able to get through the remainder of my pregnancy peacefully. We chose to wait until the baby was born this time to find out the gender since we already had one of each, Roman (4) & Ezrah (2). I was asked from beginning to end if I had any hunches or intuition on what they would be, but I truly didn’t. It sort of felt like it should’ve been my duty as a mommy to have an idea! It wasn’t until the very end of the pregnancy that I felt like I truly knew. Here’s why:

The last month or so, the pain of labor and delivery was almost all I could think about. It was consuming my mind and I did everything in my power to push it out and lay it at the feet of Jesus. We’ve chosen midwifery care for the last 2 pregnancies, delivering either at home or the birth center with little intervention and no form of pain medication. The pain aspect of labor was what I was thinking about the most, but delivering this way is worth every bit of. Aside from frequent monitoring of the baby, and my vitals, I have the freedom to make the decisions for my labors, deliveries and how much help I want.

Two weeks before the baby’s due date, my contractions were frequent but inconsistent. I timed them mostly every night because they were increasing in strength and I know it would be soon. My mind was still racing with all of the when’s and what if’s, almost feeling a doubt that I could really do this pain again.

Here’s where it gets good: a coworker of my sisters who I’d never met at the time, was led to pray for my labor & delivery. (thank you, Sara!) As she interceded on my behalf she felt the Lord was saying to her that my labor would be so much easier and heard “back to Eden”. When my sister shared this word with me, I was truly speechless as no one else knew that I had been previously taking communion daily and thanking Jesus that His blood shed on the cross freed us from the law of sin and death (Galatians 3:13), and that through this freedom I could claim victory over my labor and delivery. I didn’t have to live under the suffering of child bearing that came upon Eve in the garden of Eden because of her sin. Jesus came to abolish the works of the enemy, (1 John 3:8) and I was claiming that.

Because of this, Colin and I just had this feeling that this baby was going to be a girl and her name would be Eden. We were so eager to see what my labor would be like!

On the morning of March 4th, my water broke during my sleep at 4:15am. I yelled “Babe! My water broke!” He shot out of bed and we called our parents and midwife. My midwife let me labor at home for as long as I felt comfortable and kept in touch every 15 minutes or so. My contractions began about 5-7 minutes apart and weren’t even uncomfortable at this point. I got myself ready, walked around our room and things kept picking up. My dad and brother got to our house to stay with the older babes while they slept and we decided to head to the birth center around 5:30am. The birth center is the coziest little house overlooking a lake and one of the most peaceful places. When we walked in, I could smell and hear the coffee pot brewing, the midwives talking with excitement as they welcomed us in, and although I was in labor I remember feeling at that moment “this is why we choose this.” To be doing the hardest thing of your life, but in a peaceful, relaxing, welcoming environment where you are treated like a treasure and are celebrated instead of just another patient on their watch. My midwives and doula truly are a dream.

After arriving and getting settled in, my progression started to slow a bit. My contractions became a little further apart so I had to stay active if I wanted to keep things moving. I walked around constantly but stopped for each contraction as my doula pressed on the pressure points of my back. She is an angel! Although this was active labor, I wasn’t in nearly the amount of pain as I had been in the previous ones. All I could do was thank Jesus for His presence. After a couple hours of walking, I could feel my body intensifying and knew it was time for the transition phase. I got in the tub and finished my labor there, I could literally feel the baby’s body moving down and it was something I couldn’t explain. The birth tub was very deep so I didn’t have any help, other than the baby’s heart beat being monitored. I told everyone I felt like it was go time and they let me take the lead. I pushed for awhile, actually much longer than my other labors, but used every ounce of energy I had left. I was ready to meet this baby. My worship music playlist was on repeat, and at this time Lean back by capital city music was playing and it was the most perfect.

“So I will lean back in the loving arms of a beautiful Father

breathe deep and know that He is good

He’s a love like no other

You will never leave

Your love sustaining me”

It gave me everything I needed to get to the finish line, and as my midwives encouraged me saying they could see the baby’s head, they said to Colin “Daddy, when you guys are ready you can tell us what the gender is!” And it motived me unlike anything else. Seconds later, the most peaceful baby was on my chest and we studied every inch of their face and listened to their voice cry out for the first time. I looked to Colin and said “Is it Eden?” And he confirmed that it surely was. She was our fulfilled promise.

Eden Sage Clark- March 4th, 2020, 9:36am 7lbs 8oz, 21 inches long.

Blogging is something I decided to do when Roman was only a couple months old, so I could document our sweet memories and milestones, and also share my journey through motherhood and pregnancy. I haven’t been very intentional about keeping up with it but I want to start making it important again. That little baby who was just a couple months old, just turned three years old last week. These last three years have taught me so many different things, but most importantly about love.

When he was about a year and a half old, he started showing a great interest in animals. It started when we brought out a bag of animals I played with as a child and it kept growing from there. Pictures, books, videos, even just talking about animals always made him so excited. Since then we’ve built him his own collection of animals and they’ve been his very favorite gifts. He’s never shown much interest in cars, trains or airplanes because his little heart always goes back to his animals. My in-laws generously gifted us with passes to the zoo last year and I couldn’t even count how many we went because it’s his favorite place in the world.

*on a side note, we really love our zoo because their mission is to “rescue, rehabilitate, release” and care for endangered wildlife.

For weeks leading up to Roman’s birthday, I asked him several times what he would like and his answer never changed – “an animal birthday”. I was so excited to do this for him because I knew he would love every single bit of it. Thankfully, we had so many animal things to work with so it all came together really quickly as we had most of it already.

We had a build-your-own trail mix bar and called it “Safari Snacks”. I’ve done something similar with each of Roman’s birthday parties and it’s always been a favorite!

Every time I’ve asked him what his favorite part of his birthday was, he’s said “my animal cake you made me” and it’s been the sweetest thing. I had the best time making this and the hardest time trying to keep it a surprise for him because I was dying to show him!

It was actually pretty easy. I baked 3 layers of vanilla cake, and made a quick chocolate frosting that played as the glue for the “bamboo” which were cookie straws. I threw a sleeve of graham crackers into my food processor to be the “sand” and topped them with some animals. I found the zebra candles at Hobby Lobby!

These amazing cake pops and cookies are courtesy of Divine Cookie Designs, who we’ve used for just about every gathering since moving back to Florida. Her work is amazing and her passion for what she does surely speaks for itself.

My incredibly talented sister, Victoria, made this little safari truck that had actual wheels and a steering wheel! She’s the perfect person for any sort of creative pieces like this for parties!

As we started setting up decorations, the wind picked up really strong and everything was falling. Pictures were being blown off the photo display and one of the centerpieces I made for the table fell and sand went everywhere. The wind was steady for about an hour and we waited for it to calm but it didn’t. My mom and I stopped and thanked The Lord for our precious birthday boy and for the amazing weather that we knew He wanted to give us. We asked that He would calm the wind and keep it from raining. Within about 20 minutes, the weather was nothing short of perfect. It was cool, but not too cold and the wind was almost non existent. The whole rest of the afternoon it stayed that way and it was such a sweet reminder of how praise & thanksgiving truly is the most powerful, and He is faithful.

*peep that little monkey just hanging out on the “thank you for swinging by” sign. It’s the little things, y’all.

I did a really cost-friendly favor for the kiddos which were little baggies of animal crackers!

We had the best time celebrating the blessing of his life and of course had to top off this party weekend at the zoo on his actual birthday!

“Let grace always be my first response.” I saw this quote hung up on a wall in the background of a testimony I watched last week, and it’s stuck with me ever since. How powerful are those words? 

Grace. Undeserving favor. The very thing that God so generously lavishes on us because of His deep love for all of His creation. Grace is what He gave us by sending His son to defeat all evil, to cover our sin, to forgive us. He allows us to walk in that grace daily by guiding us with love, patience, and endless forgiveness. It doesn’t make sense to the human mind, and that’s exactly the way He planned for it to be. 

If I keep my mind and heart focused on His graciousness, it gives me the desire, and power to then be gracious to those around me – because I want every person I speak with to feel even a glimpse of who He is. When I struggle with how to do this, I always remind myself of something my mom shared with me. She reminded me of the scripture Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious, as if seasoned with salt, so that you will have the right response for everyone.” She explained it like this: Before we eat our food, we intentionally sprinkle it with salt. Likewise, before we speak, we must intentionally make sure they are gracious. A light bulb immediately went on in my head and that has stayed with me ever since. 

I want for my life, my home, and my family to be a mirror of the grace that God gives to all who will receive it. The way that I speak to my children, the way that I interact with strangers, the way that I handle uncomfortable situations – to all point to His throne of grace. 

Yet not I, but the grace of God within me. 1 Corinthians 15:10 

The birth story of Ezrah Rose.

This labor and delivery was so different than I expected. I expected a dramatic breaking of my water like I had the first time with Roman, and I expected to just “know” when it was time. I expected this labor to be exactly like I had before.

My expectations were off. Way off.

On the morning of Wednesday, August 23rd, the day before my due date, I woke up feeling the best I had felt out of my entire third trimester. I was full of energy and my mind was racing with a list of to do’s and get done’s. I was probably talking 90 miles a minute to my husband as soon as he woke up about all the things I had planned for the day, and my desire to do them all right then and there. A trip to the grocery store to get household items, cleaning, cooking, taking Roman to the park, and stopping by my parents house to pick up their pressure washer for us to borrow. I was in full nesting mode. I’m talking, scrubbing the base boards with a tooth brush kind of nesting. I’m thankful for his patience with me because surely I was looking and acting like I had lost my mind, and he was on board for helping me with it all because he could clearly see it was important to me.

As the day went on and things were getting checked off my mile long list, I was still full of energy and wasn’t having any symptoms of labor other than some mild cramping which I had for the whole week or two prior. It wasn’t until about 6pm, while I was vacuuming, that I started having stronger than normal contractions. Roman was pushing his corn popper behind me (he thinks that’s his vacuum and he loves to help). We were having the best time just the two of us while daddy was at work. A few minutes after we finished, the contractions became more intense but weren’t consistent. Not even to the point of needing to pay attention to the timing or length of them yet.

Colin got home from work and the contractions were picking up to the point of needing to time them, and at this point they were steady at 7 minutes apart. I tried to carry on with the evening to see if this was the real deal, so we began making dinner together like we do every night. Roman was in his high chair and I was chopping veggies, but was quickly overwhelmed with the strength of the contractions and could no longer stand during them. We called my parents and had them pick up Roman while we were on standby to see if this was active labor, and oh… was it.

At this point, it was about 10pm and contractions were 5 minutes apart and lasting 2 minutes long. It was time to start making phone calls. Colin called our doula and midwife, and we were given instructions to call back if my water broke, started bleeding, or the contractions were 3 minutes apart for an hour. We planned to labor at home for as long as possible but within just a few moments, they spiked to 3 minutes and began to be unbearable. During each contraction I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom which made me realize the time was coming and we had to head to the birth center despite the lack of other symptoms we were told to look for.

We pulled up the birth center at midnight and my midwife and doula helped me get out of the car and into the house. (Yes, the birthing center is a house!) as soon as I walked through the door I immediately laid down and at this point I was in the transition phase of labor which was by far the hardest. I tried to focus on taking deep breaths as I clung to my husband and cried out to God. I begged God to bring her quickly and to show me mercy and grace. The midwife then checked my dilation for the first time, and while checking, she could already feel the baby’s head and told me it was time to start pushing. I couldn’t believe how quickly it was happening. I planned on a water birth but there wasn’t even time to get the water ready.

I started to push and my water broke immediately. I say push, but it was more so breathing her down. If natural birth is something you aren’t familiar with, I highly encourage you to research breathing the baby down verses pushing. It was so powerful and so much more peaceful. I continued and when I didn’t think my body could take any more, the baby’s head started to crown which gave me all the encouragement I needed to get to the finish line.

Then, at 1:13am, there she was. She was here. I remember saying “it’s over! It’s over!” in such relief after climbing the biggest mountain that had ever been in front of me. I couldn’t believe that I did it. I just went through labor and delivering a baby without any source of medication or medical intervention. I couldn’t stop thanking God for how quickly He brought her and how He pulled me through this.

I pulled her up on to my stomach and held her there while we waited for her umbilical cord to stop pulsating. Colin and I got to feel it beating in our hands which was so raw and incredible. He then cut the cord and she started nursing right away while the midwives took care of me during these beginning stages of recovery.

After spending that intimate time with my husband and our new baby girl, I got up and took a bath (which was probably the best bath of my entire life), and began to go over discharge information. My body felt so great. I was in little to no pain at all and just a few hours after birth, we were on our way home. This experience was a complete 360 from what I experienced in the hospital for Roman’s birth. It was peaceful, non invasive, comforting on every level and I had control over every decision made for my new baby. She was born in a bedroom with just a lamp on and it was the most cozy environment. During one of our natural child birth classes while I was pregnant, a midwife had stated “We believe a baby should be born in the same atmosphere as which it was created.”
Celebrate Birth Midwifery has completely changed my life and the way I view pregnancy, labor, and child birth.

The Lord’s design is absolutely breath taking. I am in complete awe that not only would He bless us with this precious gift of a perfect baby girl, but that He would show me just how powerful He is when we call on him. I pray that we as a family glorify Him in every way and raise these babies to love Him fiercely. Thank you, Jesus, for your hand always being over us.

It’s been awhile since I’ve taken the time to blog, and man have I missed it! I haven’t shared much, if hardly anything, about this pregnancy mostly because life has just gotten in the way. Taking care of my sweet Roman is always number 1 priority, and that’s made life busier than ever as we adventure through toddlerhood.

This pregnancy has been a complete 360 compared to what I experienced with Roman. I *thought* I had morning sickness with him, but compared to this time, that was nothin’. This time around, I was sick well into my second trimester which lasted up until about 20 weeks or so. After that point, I regained my energy and was back to feeling like myself. Roman and I were still going for our daily walks with the stroller and playing all day like we’d always have.

Around that time, I was 31 weeks and started to experience frequent contractions and minor signs of premature labor. Monitoring of baby girl reassured us that she is safe and sound, but that I just needed to rest. So in the bed I went. I was resting as I could, but like I stated previously- we’re adventuring through toddlerhood. His needs still need to be met, and I always want to be the one to meet them, which resulted in me still doing too much when I should have been resting. The symptoms became more intense which then led my midwives to put me on bed rest with strict instructions to only get up to bathe or use the bathroom. My heart sank. I cried as I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t do the things with Roman that I wanted, or take care of our home and my husband the way that I always have.

I have a hard time asking for, or even accepting help. Not because of pride, but because my heart’s desire is to take care of my family. But as I’ve been forced to be still, God so gently (as always) has shown me that none of this is about me. It’s not about what I can or can’t do right now, but just a small, temporary season in my life where He has strategically placed me to experience His blessings in different ways, for His glory. If it weren’t for this time of being so limited, I would have never experienced the way that my husband has so selflessly taken on every role of our household and has done so with a smile on his face. I would have never experienced family and friends taking the time out of their busy lives to make us dinner, do laundry for us, or simply just come and play with Roman. I would have never taken the time to realize just how deeply we are loved by those around us. But most importantly, I wouldn’t have had this down time to spend in God’s Word and learning all that He wants to show me during this time.

I know for a fact that He has placed me in this situation so I can mentally and spiritually prepare for the natural birth that is fast approaching. Never in my life did I think I would even be saying those words in regards to myself. A natural birth was something I never desired, especially after experiencing labor with Roman. If you read his birth story, you know that the hospital and epidural was the route we chose, and I was happy with that decision. I always admired the women who could labor & deliver naturally, but didn’t ever want to experience that amount of pain. This pregnancy actually started out with a OBGYN and I planned to deliver in the hospital again. It wasn’t until my sister, Victoria, started a small group for all of our friends who were also expecting, that I began to have a change of heart. There was one night in particular that she was sharing scripture of God’s strength and how He promises to be the solid rock that we can lean on. As she spoke His word out loud, I was overwhelmed with His presence and the knowing that He wanted to be my strength during labor- not medicine. I felt Him gently reminding me of how I’ve asked him to be first and foremost in every aspect of my life, and this should be no different. I know that He was calling me to this so that He would be glorified.

I wrestled with my thoughts for a few moments because I was convinced that I could never go through that much pain and be okay. But again, there He was, calming my spirit and reassuring me that He was calling me to this.

Peace. Immediate peace flooded me and I was at such comfort with this decision. The next day, I contacted our local birth center and made an appointment to meet with the midwives. As soon as I stepped foot inside, I couldn’t believe how overwhelmed I became with a sense of confirmation that this was exactly where I was supposed to be. It was a quaint, cozy environment that just felt like home. I noticed scripture around the room and worship music playing in the background, and then I was greeted by a team of women who immediately felt like my family. I was so excited to have chosen this route, and I’ve never looked back. They have cared for me on such a personal level during this whole pregnancy instead of treating me like just another patient.

It is such a comfort knowing that I’m in the hands of licensed midwives who are medically trained, yet they reassure me that my body knows best and that this labor & delivery is a celebration – not a medical event. Unless there was an emergency, of course. With all of that being said, I have a little less than 2 weeks to go until I’m officially full term and can come off bed rest! I’ll be spending the remainder of this time preparing for this delivery and I can’t wait to share her birth story when God has completed her finishing touches.

“He has saved us and called us to a holy life— not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.”
2 Timothy 1:9

I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but I can’t believe how fast the time has passed, and how fast he’s growing. It literally feels as though the past year & 3 months have happened in a blink of an eye. My eyes can’t help but swell up with tears when I come across pictures of him as a little baby because it feels like only yesterday, and that time can never be given back to us.

I always say “this is my favorite stage so far” at every stage he’s in, which is a beautiful thing that he’s been so enjoyable, but these stages are going by so much faster than I even like to admit to myself.

Mamas, I know the sleepless nights and the fussy days are hard, trust me, but please… do not wish them away. I know you’re exhausted and are waiting for the days where your baby has more independence, but I promise you that it will be here before you know it. Soon that baby who wants you to hold him non stop will be a toddler who won’t sit still because he just wants to run around the house, and you’ll long for the days where you can just hold him while he sleeps.

Pushing all the mushiness aside, I can’t believe I have a TODDLER. What? How? Although chasing him around and *trying* my best to keep him out of everything is tiring, it’s so much fun. Really. Watching him become this little human who is learning to communicate is so fascinating and he truly is the sweetest thing in the world. There’s nothing better than watching him learn something new and be proud so himself when he does.

He just started putting his hands together to tell us he’s hungry, because he knows we always pray before we eat. It just melts me. He loves to read books and point at all the pictures. {Who are you, Sue Snue? By Dr. Seuss is his current favorite}. He says “moo” when he sees a cow and always yells “baby!” when he sees the mirror. He is such a little carnivore like his daddy and will eat any kind of meat you offer him. It’s been almost 2 months since he started sleeping through the night and is down for 12 hours every night! I truly never thought this child would be a good sleeper, but here we are! *happy dance*

You have 14 teeth and weigh 25lbs. You don’t get upset by many things, in fact you really only fuss when you’re tired. You have been the most joyful, precious blessing to us and each day I am more blown away by how loving you are. Thank you, my sweet boy, for filling my heart with more love than it even knows what to do with. You are my purpose.

As we’ve just recently shared, we are so blessed to be experiencing another pregnancy and to know that soon we will be bringing another gift of life into this world. Yes, Roman just turned 1 and that’s very soon to be pregnant again, (we know!) and I’ve shared in previous blog posts why we’ve chosen not to use birth control. But It’s about so much more than that. It’s not by accident that we got pregnant again, it’s not by chance because we weren’t preventing, but it’s by God’s will. I know that for a fact, not only because our prayer is to be walking exactly in His perfect plan, but because of how very evident His hand over our life is.

Shortly after Roman was born, we had the discussion about accepting that more than likely we would have children close in age because we chose not to use birth control. But during that discussion, we realized that when we’re trusting God’s will- we have to be aware of the fact that just because we think something is likely, doesn’t mean that’s His plan. He could have chosen to only bless us with Roman, and while we desired to have more children in the future, we trust that His ways are higher than ours. So whatever was in store, we would remain faithful.

We’ve gotten some not-so-supportive reactions like, “wow! don’t you know what causes that?” Or “are you sure you’re ready for all that?” And so fourth, but God’s word doesn’t tell us to plan, or not to plan pregnancies. It doesn’t say to map out your life exactly how you want, and to control it yourself. It says the opposite- it says to trust Him because He knows what’s best for us. He created us. His love is so constant, gentle, merciful and patient to us- and the least we could do in return is to do our best to glorify Him with every detail of our lives.

I know that this pregnancy was completely ordained by the Lord, and here’s why. Ever since having Roman, my prayer was that He would show me favor by protecting me from becoming pregnant right away because I selfishly didn’t desire that. I wanted to give my body a “break”. I prayed that all year long, up until the week of Thanksgiving. I felt convicted about the fact that I was praying for something that could have been against what He wanted for our family. As I prayed, I asked Him to forgive me for my selfishness and for Him to prepare me for whatever he had planned. I prayed that His will would be done in our family, whatever that looked like. I wanted to surrender everything I am to Him, so I did.

A few weeks had passed, and then one night I woke up out of a dream that left me in wonder. In this dream, there was a black room with a name written in white light – as if it had been written with a sparkler like on the 4th of July. This dream was so vivid and I saw this name so clearly. Over the next couple of nights as I prayed, I asked God to reveal to me what this dream was, and immediately He did. It was the name of a child – and the meaning behind it was that this child would light up the darkness. I didn’t even know that I was pregnant at the time, and I’m in tears as I write this because I am in such awe of our God. Needless to say, we will be giving this name to our new baby regardless of the gender.

Earlier this year, I read this book called “Discerning the voice of God” by Priscilla Shirer, and it has completely molded my relationship with The Lord. It taught me just how intimately He wants to connect with us, speak to us, and teach us. Seeking Him with all of my heart and taking time to just be still and listen for Him has been the best decision of my life- and my greatest privilege. I’m in awe that He has spoken to me so specifically, and that He wants that with all of us.

The day after I had the dream, I was out running errands and went by Walgreens to grab a test, just in case, feeling like it was silly of me because I just *knew* it would be negative. I planned to take it after I got home, but after getting to TJ Maxx to finish up my Christmas shopping I just had the strong urge to take it then and there. Sure enough that positive line appeared in the bathroom of TJ Maxx and my heart pounded like never before. But the craziest part is that I wasn’t the least bit overwhelmed. Complete peace flooded my soul as if I just knew, right then, that God’s mighty hand was over it all.

It was a week before Christmas, but I knew that I wanted to tell my husband on Christmas morning while we sat on our living room floor opening our stockings with Roman, for the first time as a family of 3. Needless to say I was bursting at the seams and keeping that from him for an entire week was probably the hardest thing I’ve done in my life – but it was so worth the wait.

I stuffed the positive test in this secretive little black box and left it in his stocking, and watching him open it was one of the sweetest and happiest moments of my life. More happy tears than I prepared myself for, as we watched Roman play with his new toys and we celebrated this news that would forever change our lives.

I’m in complete denial that my not-so-newborn baby is one whole year old already! Although I wasn’t ready for the time to come, planning his “Wild One” tribal themed birthday party over these last few months was so joyful to my heart! There is nothing better than celebrating his precious life, and everything came together more perfectly than I could have even hoped for. He was SO happy and had the best time from when he woke up that morning, to the time we went to sleep. He played his heart out and to top it all off, we had the best weather! Thank you, Lord for your sweet blessings.

“This is the day that the LORD has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24 

10 whole months. 

Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was getting you dressed to head home from the hospital? Slipping mittens onto your oh so tiny little fingers and placing a warm hat around your sweet little head. I remember just staring at you the entire drive home. Actually, I still do that…

Yes, I still sit in the back seat with him every time. I love keeping him company and playing with him back there. He’s obviously still rear facing so I’m sure it would get lonely back there. He’ll be rear facing until he’s 12. Kidding, kind of 😉 extended rear facing is seriously one of the best things you can do for your babies and their car seat safety. Ive done hours of research on it beginning when I was pregnant, and sometimes I feel like the car seat police but that’s only because it breaks my heart to see babies who aren’t in theirs properly. It’s mom & dads job to read the manuals, seek help if needed and educate themselves on the safety precautions. It’s your child’s life here, people! But that’s another topic for another time.

Roman Isaiah, you have changed SO much this month. I think this month may have been where I’ve seen the most growth in you and have watched you learn more than you ever have. I’ve noticed that you are an extremely fast learner, and you catch on to new concepts very quickly. A few days ago, your Granny was tossing some of your blocks into your Woody & Buzz lightyear bucket, and after seeing her throw about two of them in, you picked them up and started doing it too. I was so amazed at how fast you caught on!

Something else that’s new, you’ve learned how to share and you LOVE doing it. When I give you a snack, you take a bite and then offer it right back to me. Same goes for when you’re handed a toy. Not going to lie, I definitely teared up a bit the first time you shared with me. It made me so proud to see such a tiny human being so sweet and generous.

You’ve also started standing on your own, and although it usually lasts only 20 seconds or so at a time, you sure do love it. You start to clap and get so proud of yourself! Daddy and I are wondering how long it will be until you take your first step.

Your baby bath tub for the sink is no longer in use, which breaks my heart a little that you’ve outgrown it, but bath time is so much more fun now that you can sit in the bath tub while splashing and playing with all of your toys. We love sitting in there with you and watching your every move, so it’s always a family thing.

You are the absolute light of my life, you sweet angel. I couldn’t have ever imagined that our life together would be this much fun and that my heart could hold this much joy. I can’t thank the Lord enough for allowing us to be your parents and for blessing me with a perfectly healthy pregnancy and delivery, to bring you into this world. He is too good to us.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. Jeremiah 1:5

As you lay here in my arms drifting off into sleep, I am mesmerized by how peaceful you are. Although you are growing and changing so much, I still see my newborn baby every time I look at you but especially when you are asleep. Your chubby cheeks and silky soft skin are just two of the many, many things I’m going to miss as you transition into a little boy. I feel my eyes tearing up as I write this because motherhood is so raw and unlike anything I have ever experienced. I wish the time would slow down and you wouldn’t grow so fast, but I am so fascinated by all that you are becoming.

I never knew just how quickly our days would pass us by and how quickly my newborn would become a 3 month old, and how quickly that 3 month old would be my now 9 month old. 9 months. What? How did that happen? It feels like just yesterday I was walking all around our neighborhood trying to get labor started so I could finally meet you. You have taught me more in these last 9 months than I would have ever imagined, but one thing in particular is to slow down.

“Stop and smell the roses” they say. Man, has that saying never applied so much to my life as it does right now. I want to soak up every single minute of you growing, changing and learning. I promise to always hold you tight and give you all that you need and so much deserve.

As of right now, you have two bottom teeth and three coming in at the top. You love to pull yourself up on anything you can get your hands on and love to stand. You are so proud of yourself! You are such a fast crawler and are constantly on the move. You just recently started to clap your hands and clap at everything! You also love to wiggle and dance when music comes on or when we sing to you. I just can’t get enough.

You weigh 22lbs and are 29 inches long. You’re still exclusively breastfed with some puréed foods in the mix. You’re not too sure how you feel about different textures just yet but we’re getting there!

We had your dedication ceremony this month at church and it was so sweet to be surrounded by family while dedicating you to the Lord and vow to raise you by His word. We were asked to choose 5 words to pray over your life, and after your daddy & I praying for guidance, we were led to pray for you to be {Humble, Kind, Courageous, Giving, and Compassionate}. We promise to always point you to our Heavenly Father for wisdom that only He can give and for us to be an example of these things, while living them out in our home.

Things you’re loving:
{Playing} of course. You love being on the floor surrounded by all of your toys and love to crawl and roll all over the place!

{Your puppies}, Bentley & Nala. You think they are so funny! You laugh every time one of them walks past you and are always trying to pull their hair. (Sorry, pups!) you make the funniest face when they give you kisses and you’d rather be on the floor playing with them over just about anything. They are so gentle with you!

{Tags} Who knew? You have all the toys in the world and yet you’d rather play with their tags. I swear if a tag was a mile away, your eyes would catch it! Thankfully your Mimi bought you a toy that had tags all over it and you can’t get enough of that thing.

{Baby wearing} Being strapped up to mommy or daddy’s chest is clearly your safe place. You love being at our level and seeing things from our perspective! I love it so much, too, and hope we can make it last as long as possible. Until my back gives out, of course.

{Being outside} That’s one thing that hasn’t changed, and I don’t think ever will. Stepping outside soothes you immediately and you could be pushed around in our jogging stroller for hours (Great exercise for mommy!) and I love seeing the way your sweet face lights up as you become aware of your surroundings.

Not a fan of: 

{Your car seat} We even switched your infant seat to a convertible one in hopes you would be more comfortable, but you just hate to sit still and be strapped. Who doesn’t?

{Putting on clothes} Every. Single. Time. Naked baby for the win.

I’m finding it pretty awesome that I can only think of a couple things that you don’t like! You are the happiest, sweetest, most joyful soul and I am forever captivated by your happy little spirit. Thank you, Jesus, for such a perfect angel.