It’s been awhile since I’ve taken the time to blog, and man have I missed it! I haven’t shared much, if hardly anything, about this pregnancy mostly because life has just gotten in the way. Taking care of my sweet Roman is always number 1 priority, and that’s made life busier than ever as we adventure through toddlerhood.

This pregnancy has been a complete 360 compared to what I experienced with Roman. I *thought* I had morning sickness with him, but compared to this time, that was nothin’. This time around, I was sick well into my second trimester which lasted up until about 20 weeks or so. After that point, I regained my energy and was back to feeling like myself. Roman and I were still going for our daily walks with the stroller and playing all day like we’d always have.

Around that time, I was 31 weeks and started to experience frequent contractions and minor signs of premature labor. Monitoring of baby girl reassured us that she is safe and sound, but that I just needed to rest. So in the bed I went. I was resting as I could, but like I stated previously- we’re adventuring through toddlerhood. His needs still need to be met, and I always want to be the one to meet them, which resulted in me still doing too much when I should have been resting. The symptoms became more intense which then led my midwives to put me on bed rest with strict instructions to only get up to bathe or use the bathroom. My heart sank. I cried as I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t do the things with Roman that I wanted, or take care of our home and my husband the way that I always have.

I have a hard time asking for, or even accepting help. Not because of pride, but because my heart’s desire is to take care of my family. But as I’ve been forced to be still, God so gently (as always) has shown me that none of this is about me. It’s not about what I can or can’t do right now, but just a small, temporary season in my life where He has strategically placed me to experience His blessings in different ways, for His glory. If it weren’t for this time of being so limited, I would have never experienced the way that my husband has so selflessly taken on every role of our household and has done so with a smile on his face. I would have never experienced family and friends taking the time out of their busy lives to make us dinner, do laundry for us, or simply just come and play with Roman. I would have never taken the time to realize just how deeply we are loved by those around us. But most importantly, I wouldn’t have had this down time to spend in God’s Word and learning all that He wants to show me during this time.

I know for a fact that He has placed me in this situation so I can mentally and spiritually prepare for the natural birth that is fast approaching. Never in my life did I think I would even be saying those words in regards to myself. A natural birth was something I never desired, especially after experiencing labor with Roman. If you read his birth story, you know that the hospital and epidural was the route we chose, and I was happy with that decision. I always admired the women who could labor & deliver naturally, but didn’t ever want to experience that amount of pain. This pregnancy actually started out with a OBGYN and I planned to deliver in the hospital again. It wasn’t until my sister, Victoria, started a small group for all of our friends who were also expecting, that I began to have a change of heart. There was one night in particular that she was sharing scripture of God’s strength and how He promises to be the solid rock that we can lean on. As she spoke His word out loud, I was overwhelmed with His presence and the knowing that He wanted to be my strength during labor- not medicine. I felt Him gently reminding me of how I’ve asked him to be first and foremost in every aspect of my life, and this should be no different. I know that He was calling me to this so that He would be glorified.

I wrestled with my thoughts for a few moments because I was convinced that I could never go through that much pain and be okay. But again, there He was, calming my spirit and reassuring me that He was calling me to this.

Peace. Immediate peace flooded me and I was at such comfort with this decision. The next day, I contacted our local birth center and made an appointment to meet with the midwives. As soon as I stepped foot inside, I couldn’t believe how overwhelmed I became with a sense of confirmation that this was exactly where I was supposed to be. It was a quaint, cozy environment that just felt like home. I noticed scripture around the room and worship music playing in the background, and then I was greeted by a team of women who immediately felt like my family. I was so excited to have chosen this route, and I’ve never looked back. They have cared for me on such a personal level during this whole pregnancy instead of treating me like just another patient.

It is such a comfort knowing that I’m in the hands of licensed midwives who are medically trained, yet they reassure me that my body knows best and that this labor & delivery is a celebration – not a medical event. Unless there was an emergency, of course. With all of that being said, I have a little less than 2 weeks to go until I’m officially full term and can come off bed rest! I’ll be spending the remainder of this time preparing for this delivery and I can’t wait to share her birth story when God has completed her finishing touches.

“He has saved us and called us to a holy life— not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.”
2 Timothy 1:9