Totally welcoming myself back here as it’s been over a year since I’ve sat down to write. I’m so happy to have this space, as a keepsake, somewhere to store and share some of my most treasured memories and thoughts. I didn’t blog at all through this pregnancy, as the first half I battled hyperemesis (another story for another time!) but the Lord lifted it from me and I was able to get through the remainder of my pregnancy peacefully. We chose to wait until the baby was born this time to find out the gender since we already had one of each, Roman (4) & Ezrah (2). I was asked from beginning to end if I had any hunches or intuition on what they would be, but I truly didn’t. It sort of felt like it should’ve been my duty as a mommy to have an idea! It wasn’t until the very end of the pregnancy that I felt like I truly knew. Here’s why:

The last month or so, the pain of labor and delivery was almost all I could think about. It was consuming my mind and I did everything in my power to push it out and lay it at the feet of Jesus. We’ve chosen midwifery care for the last 2 pregnancies, delivering either at home or the birth center with little intervention and no form of pain medication. The pain aspect of labor was what I was thinking about the most, but delivering this way is worth every bit of. Aside from frequent monitoring of the baby, and my vitals, I have the freedom to make the decisions for my labors, deliveries and how much help I want.

Two weeks before the baby’s due date, my contractions were frequent but inconsistent. I timed them mostly every night because they were increasing in strength and I know it would be soon. My mind was still racing with all of the when’s and what if’s, almost feeling a doubt that I could really do this pain again.

Here’s where it gets good: a coworker of my sisters who I’d never met at the time, was led to pray for my labor & delivery. (thank you, Sara!) As she interceded on my behalf she felt the Lord was saying to her that my labor would be so much easier and heard “back to Eden”. When my sister shared this word with me, I was truly speechless as no one else knew that I had been previously taking communion daily and thanking Jesus that His blood shed on the cross freed us from the law of sin and death (Galatians 3:13), and that through this freedom I could claim victory over my labor and delivery. I didn’t have to live under the suffering of child bearing that came upon Eve in the garden of Eden because of her sin. Jesus came to abolish the works of the enemy, (1 John 3:8) and I was claiming that.

Because of this, Colin and I just had this feeling that this baby was going to be a girl and her name would be Eden. We were so eager to see what my labor would be like!

On the morning of March 4th, my water broke during my sleep at 4:15am. I yelled “Babe! My water broke!” He shot out of bed and we called our parents and midwife. My midwife let me labor at home for as long as I felt comfortable and kept in touch every 15 minutes or so. My contractions began about 5-7 minutes apart and weren’t even uncomfortable at this point. I got myself ready, walked around our room and things kept picking up. My dad and brother got to our house to stay with the older babes while they slept and we decided to head to the birth center around 5:30am. The birth center is the coziest little house overlooking a lake and one of the most peaceful places. When we walked in, I could smell and hear the coffee pot brewing, the midwives talking with excitement as they welcomed us in, and although I was in labor I remember feeling at that moment “this is why we choose this.” To be doing the hardest thing of your life, but in a peaceful, relaxing, welcoming environment where you are treated like a treasure and are celebrated instead of just another patient on their watch. My midwives and doula truly are a dream.

After arriving and getting settled in, my progression started to slow a bit. My contractions became a little further apart so I had to stay active if I wanted to keep things moving. I walked around constantly but stopped for each contraction as my doula pressed on the pressure points of my back. She is an angel! Although this was active labor, I wasn’t in nearly the amount of pain as I had been in the previous ones. All I could do was thank Jesus for His presence. After a couple hours of walking, I could feel my body intensifying and knew it was time for the transition phase. I got in the tub and finished my labor there, I could literally feel the baby’s body moving down and it was something I couldn’t explain. The birth tub was very deep so I didn’t have any help, other than the baby’s heart beat being monitored. I told everyone I felt like it was go time and they let me take the lead. I pushed for awhile, actually much longer than my other labors, but used every ounce of energy I had left. I was ready to meet this baby. My worship music playlist was on repeat, and at this time Lean back by capital city music was playing and it was the most perfect.

“So I will lean back in the loving arms of a beautiful Father

breathe deep and know that He is good

He’s a love like no other

You will never leave

Your love sustaining me”

• 

It gave me everything I needed to get to the finish line, and as my midwives encouraged me saying they could see the baby’s head, they said to Colin “Daddy, when you guys are ready you can tell us what the gender is!” And it motived me unlike anything else. Seconds later, the most peaceful baby was on my chest and we studied every inch of their face and listened to their voice cry out for the first time. I looked to Colin and said “Is it Eden?” And he confirmed that it surely was. She was our fulfilled promise.

Eden Sage Clark- March 4th, 2020, 9:36am 7lbs 8oz, 21 inches long.