The first day we brought Roman home, I couldn’t stop just staring at him. Who am I kidding, here we are almost 4 months later and I still can’t stop staring at him. I remember feeling so joyfully overwhelmed with the realization that he was ours to keep. He was ours and we were his. This tiny angel was completely dependent on us and it was such a great responsibility.
I felt so connected to him during my pregnancy and thought I couldn’t possibly love him more, but oh was I wrong. So wrong. There is absolutely nothing that anyone could have said to me that would have prepared me for the unexplainable amount of love that I was going to feel after he was born. A kind of love that can’t be described and can only be felt. I believe that this is just a small glimpse of what our Heavenly Father feels for us as he calls us His children, and that makes me want nothing more in this life than to please Him and bring all glory to His name.
During the first couple months of Roman’s life, we struggled with some tummy issues that left him quite uncomfortable and unhappy which made this mama heart of mine break. Nursing was the only thing that would soothe him and while that left me on the couch with him practically 24/7, I’m so grateful for the bond that was established and that I was his sense of security and a safe place for him to be comforted.
After trying everything we could think of to make him feel better for weeks on end, it’s left me to feel such compassion for other mamas who truly are doing their best. I have to shamefully admit that there have been many times in the grocery store that I’ve seen an unhappy baby and was so quick to judge, thinking to myself, “I wonder why no one is taking care of that baby” or “I wonder what their parents are doing wrong”. Then The Lord quickly humbled my heart when I became a mommy to a baby who was going through those same unhappy spells no matter what I did to take care of him with the very best of my ability. I know deep down that’s why He allowed me to experience those struggles and I’m thankful for the way he gently softened my heart.
By God’s grace alone, Roman’s tummy troubles are completely gone and he’s now a brand new baby who’s always smiling and giggling! Having the great privilege of being a stay-at-home mommy and getting to watch each and every milestone is truly the joy of my heart and there’s no doubt in my mind that’s what I was put on this earth to do. My greatest hope is that I will always fill his little spirit with God’s word and show him the truth of God’s goodness. I can only pray that He continues to give me the wisdom I need to be a Godly wife and mother and to always point my family toward Him.
I am so in love with this little boy. To say that he has stolen my heart would be an absolute understatement. I laugh when he laughs, I hurt when he hurts, and to know I can’t protect him from everything painful in this world makes my heart ache. But as long as at the end of each day he knows that I’ve loved him with every fiber of my being, and was there to meet his every need, I could not want anything more. He made me who I was meant to be – he made me a mommy.
Raising Roman 